In the late 1980s, I moved from Florida to Massachusetts for graduate school. It was my first Thanksgiving away from home, and I was expecting visitors: my fiance, my niece who was a college student in a nearby town, and one of her college friends. I was determined to do the full meal deal for their Thanksgiving enjoyment.
My menu included a turkey, stuffing, gravy, squash, yams, green beans, and pumpkin pie—all my favorites from childhood. I was very excited to host a genuine Thanksgiving dinner for my guests.
We had no internet back then, so the week prior to Thanksgiving consisted of numerous phone calls to my mom in Florida: what size turkey, how to defrost, how to stuff, how to cook. I was nervous about undercooking over overcooking. I had no idea the process would be so stressful.
I can’t count the number of times I turned on the oven light to look at the turkey. I kept calling my mom and describing what I saw. She told me to relax, and everything would be fine. But I kept checking and checking.
It was worth the effort when my guests arrived and said the apartment smelled amazing. Thanks to my mom’s preparation tips, everything was done on time. I have no idea how many angels God sent to be sure the turkey was cooked properly.
Everything turned out great. I had this fleeting moment of Maybe I really can do this. I would be married by the next Thanksgiving and had visions of needing to fix a big holiday meal every year.
After dinner, we were chatting when my niece’s friend started feeling pain in her gums. Not from my turkey, but from her impacted wisdom tooth. We all piled into my car and drove to the nearest emergency room. While I didn’t want to see her in pain, especially on her holiday, I was glad she was able to get help. We all continued our Thanksgiving visit in the waiting room.
After my guests went on their way the next day, I realized I had a lot of turkey left over. I put bags of shredded turkey in the freezer. I made turkey soup from the bones and froze that too. My entire diet that winter was turkey, turkey, and more turkey. As a graduate student, I was grateful to save on my food budget. But I wasn’t sure I’d ever went to eat turkey again.
All in all, it was a successful Thanksgiving. I discovered I really could cook a turkey dinner for my guests. But I also learned I don’t have to do something just because of a holiday expectation. Traditions can change in different seasons of life.
After that year, we went out for dinner on Thanksgiving—which is exactly what my mom and I had done when I was in high school and college. Just because I became a newlywed didn’t mean I had to start preparing elaborate holiday meals.
Holidays aren’t about fancy meals. They’re about being together with people you love. That’s the most important thing. And those are the memories that will stick with you.
Exploring Generations 